Baseball Annie Settles for Baltimore

Jan 30, 2006

Kris Benson, newest acquisition for the fairly pathetic Orioles, believes that he has found a home in Baltimore.

His wife, on the other hand, has already found her way into Baltimore, and New York, and Chicago, etc. etc. etc.

You see, Anna Benson is a "model" of sorts. By "model" I mean shameless, unprincipled trollope.
Hope I spelled that right.

This is the same woman, remember, that stated her intent to service the entire 40 man roster of whatever team Kris happened to be a part in the event that she found out that her husband was cheating on her. My question is this: can a woman pose in a magazine wearing not a whole lot of anything be considered faithful?
Would you be able to say that your husband, wife, fiance, etc., was faithful if he/she/it laid it out for all to see? In a manner of speaking, of course.
Could it really be said that the act of posing semi-nude (or even close to it) can be the act of a "faithful" spouse? Personally, I just don't see it.

The Orioles, however, are most certainly going to "see it". Kris Benson didn't even get a chance to see what Baltimore has to offer before Baltimore got to see what Anna had to offer.

Sounds prudish, right? The rants of a conservative, overwrought member of the Moral Majority? You got it.

She even had the media asking HER questions. I have a question for her. Do you throw a 90-mph fastball? How 'bout a curve? Slider?

No? Then step away from the microphone, and sit down. We know you're a model. We know you're narcissistic. We know you dig showing off for the menfolk. What we don't know is this: can you stand NOT being the center of attention?

Tell you what; when Kris wins more than 15 games, or at the very least stays healthy for a full year, then he will be relevant in the professional baseball world. When that happens, talk about him all you want. But, frankly, let me save you some time by saying this:

We know you're a "model". We don't care. See if you can manage to keep your clothes on while you're in Baltimore. And if Kris is unfaitiful, maybe therapy is the answer.

After making a threat to sleep with your husband's team, perhaps therapy is a good idea, after all.

C. Riddle
Bitter Old Prude
Green Diamonds

Big Mac Gets Small-Jan 14, 2006

Big Mac Gets Small

C Riddle
Green Diamonds Writer

In an attempt to confirm the possibility that I am not the only man left on Earth, I have a question to ask.

Did anyone else notice how much smaller Mark McGwire was at the Congressional Hearings? Am I the only one? I'm gonna say "no".

I think it's safe to assume this because I happen to know that most people have at least decent eyesight. I also happen to know that some of you out there know when you're being sold a bill of goods.

For those of you too young to know what that means, find someone with a tape recording of said hearings and fast forward to McGwire's feeble attempt at an explaination. There's your answer.

Next year, McGwire enters his first year of HOF eligibility. While in his testimony (or lack thereof) he stated his desire to move on and leave the past behind, perhaps we are supposed to do the same thing? Perhaps he wants us to forget how he went from power hitter extraordinaire to virtual comic book hero at an age when most other players are falling drastically off? Perhaps he wanted us to ignore his astounding physical transformation from massive and muscular to monstrously mutated? Perhaps we should have overlooked his shockingly quick reversion to a size and build which reminded some of his early Oakland days?

Perhaps we should just forget about the whole thing. You know, trust and faith and the belief that our heroes are infallible and perfect. Or perhaps we should pull our heads out of the sand and get a clue.

I remember the moment that McGwire broke the record. I know a lot of you guys do, too. To think that it might have been just a steroid-induced sham is hard to take. When I was a little chap, I endured my share of bullying. I was the class nerd, you see. The feeling I used to have after any one of those incidents would accurately describe how I feel about McGwire now. It's the kind of feeling you get when someone spends a good deal of energy and time trying to convince you that they can be trusted, and just when you let your guard down...WHAMMO!

Well, you feel like a real fool.

And thanks to Mark McGwire, that is precisely how I feel now.

Thanks for the memories, Big Mac. Thanks for nothing.


C. Riddle
Baseball Writer Wannabe
Green Diamonds

p.s. this post was produced without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs. as far as you know.

One to Watch, Vol. 1 Issue 1

To My Greatly Appreciated Readers,

Welcome to my blog site! This blog entry, "One to Watch", will be a regularly occurring post devoted to the future of the Major Leagues, covering minor league (and sometime college or high school) talent, from the well-known to the unknown, with projections and evaluations as well as detailed analysis and comparisons to current Major League stars.

In this issue:

Name: Zack Greinke
Ht: 6'2" Wt: 175
Position: SP
Organization: Kansas City (AL)
Bats: R
Throws: R
Drafted: KC's 1st pick, 2002

Greinke was drafted out of Apopka High in Orlando, Florida, as KC's #1 pick in 2002. Having pitched only limited innings in Rookie and A-ball that year, KC made the unique decision of assigning Greinke to the Puerto Rican League for the winter, the first player coming out of HS ever to appear in the league. Greinke made a strong showing in 25 2/3 innings, posting a 2.45 ERA and more than holding his own against much more seasoned talent.
Zack made a great impression in Class A Carolina League in 2003, making an 11-1, 1.14 ERA showing in 14 starts before a Double-A promotion in July. Perhaps most notable was his 18 walks in 140 IP, an astounding 1.16 per 9 IP!
A very good indicator of future success in the Majors, BB/9 IP is something to which I pay quite a biy of attention. Perhaps for this reason, Greinke has drawn the obvious Greg Maddux comparisons from some, and that may not be as far off target as it may sound.
Greinke has solid command of four pitches, changes speeds very well, is poised well beyond his years, and projects to actually get better than he already is, which will carry him into #1 starter-land in the ML.
Forget about the 5-17, 5.80 ERA in 2005; the experience he gained will be valuable in his learning process. Greinke throws a mid-90's's four-seamer, altering speeds to disrupt a batter's timing in deference to just blowing it by them. He also throws a late-sinking 2-seamer, a hard and late slider, and a slow curve at around 66 mph that baffled most hitters. What stands out about Greinke's mound presence is that he focuses on changing speeds, grips and arm angles, as opposed to the common tendency of most young pitchers to throw it past you. This, in my opinion, is key to a pitcher's longevity: let the changing of speeds and location work for you.
Greinke is also very athletic, fielding his position well. In terms of endurance, his body has yet to fully mature physically, and by the time that happens he could easily be a 220 inning guy each year.
All things considered, Zack Greinke is definitely One to Watch.

2006 Projection: 10-14, 4.50 ERA, 30 starts, 175 IP, 65 BB.

I don't expect Greinke to do much better than this. After all, he DOES play for KC. If the Royals can manage even a slight improvement in run production, Greinke could make it to 12 wins, but don't hold your breath. Look at the month of April, for example. He lost all 5 of his starts, allowing only 10 ER (3.65 ERA) for the month, but with a handful of runs from KC he could have won 2 of those, at least. His first 2 starts (2 1/3 IP, 6 IP) he allowed exactly 0 runs. OK, so 2 1/3 doesn't really count, but April 2005 could be the story of his young life for a while.
The important thing to remember is that, barring injury (of course), Zack Greinke will be a ML starter of the highest order within 3 years.