Big Mac Gets Small-Jan 14, 2006

Big Mac Gets Small

C Riddle
Green Diamonds Writer

In an attempt to confirm the possibility that I am not the only man left on Earth, I have a question to ask.

Did anyone else notice how much smaller Mark McGwire was at the Congressional Hearings? Am I the only one? I'm gonna say "no".

I think it's safe to assume this because I happen to know that most people have at least decent eyesight. I also happen to know that some of you out there know when you're being sold a bill of goods.

For those of you too young to know what that means, find someone with a tape recording of said hearings and fast forward to McGwire's feeble attempt at an explaination. There's your answer.

Next year, McGwire enters his first year of HOF eligibility. While in his testimony (or lack thereof) he stated his desire to move on and leave the past behind, perhaps we are supposed to do the same thing? Perhaps he wants us to forget how he went from power hitter extraordinaire to virtual comic book hero at an age when most other players are falling drastically off? Perhaps he wanted us to ignore his astounding physical transformation from massive and muscular to monstrously mutated? Perhaps we should have overlooked his shockingly quick reversion to a size and build which reminded some of his early Oakland days?

Perhaps we should just forget about the whole thing. You know, trust and faith and the belief that our heroes are infallible and perfect. Or perhaps we should pull our heads out of the sand and get a clue.

I remember the moment that McGwire broke the record. I know a lot of you guys do, too. To think that it might have been just a steroid-induced sham is hard to take. When I was a little chap, I endured my share of bullying. I was the class nerd, you see. The feeling I used to have after any one of those incidents would accurately describe how I feel about McGwire now. It's the kind of feeling you get when someone spends a good deal of energy and time trying to convince you that they can be trusted, and just when you let your guard down...WHAMMO!

Well, you feel like a real fool.

And thanks to Mark McGwire, that is precisely how I feel now.

Thanks for the memories, Big Mac. Thanks for nothing.


C. Riddle
Baseball Writer Wannabe
Green Diamonds

p.s. this post was produced without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs. as far as you know.